Ruminations

I was just thinking that it always seems like this time of year is when I slow down on posts for a while and then it picks up in late winter through the summer.  Fall and the holidays are just so busy that even when I do have time to blog, I get overwhelmed by how much I want to recap and then I give up.

We’re even busier this year because Nolan is doing gymnastics on Mondays and soccer on Tuesdays (today is the last game, thank goodness).  He loves both of them, though I think gymnastics ranks a bit higher because it’s mostly just awesome playtime for an hour and mom isn’t constantly yapping at him to “stay on the field!”, “the other goal!”, “no hands!”…lol.

I’ve been struggling a little with our morning routine during the week.  It’s a little hard to explain, but I’m just tired of always being in a rush and sometimes I just want my tired three year old to sleep if he wants to (because, you know, three year olds always want to sleep in on weekdays and are up at 6am on weekends).  It doesn’t really matter if we get up early or not.  There’s always some sort of meltdown on the way out the door which makes me stressed about being late to work.

It doesn’t help that I’ve been trying to give Nolan more responsibility, like making his bed and picking out his clothes which adds time to our morning, but I think is crucial to his development.  I tried having him pick out his clothes at night and then he just changed his mind in the morning. :/

Yesterday I ended up leaving him at home with Josh as he had a meltdown about wearing shorts (it was 40 degrees).  Josh ended up taking him to daycare at like 10AM.  If Josh hadn’t been home I guess I would’ve just let him wear shorts and brought pants for him to wear when he got cold.

This morning he was able to sleep until 7:15 because he had a dentist appointment at 9:30.  We had a nice leisurely morning. Until he went to time out right before we needed to leave and the I had to physically carry him to the car kicking and screaming. Le sigh.

So, I’m in this weird place where I half wish I was a SAHM because I’m tired of rushing around in the mornings, I’m tired of having to figure out “how sick” he might be when he’s sick because if he’s not “that” sick then I need to save the time for when he is because I’ll not only need to stay at home with him but I’ll be sick myself soon after.  I hate having to send him when he doesn’t feel well.  Sometimes I just want to lounge around and relax with my kid more than once/week (because church on Sundays).

Not to mention all the things I’d love to do around the house if I just had more time.

But then…age three is exhausting and I’d probably tear all my hair out. (We’ve had meltdowns about wanting “warm ice cream” and because we didn’t know how to tie his shoelaces “in a circle”.)

And I probably couldn’t afford to do any projects around the house if I wasn’t working.  Shoot, I don’t think we could afford the house itself.

And it’s funny because you’d think this would all be accompanied by unhappiness at work, but no.  I’m probably the most challenged (in a good way) and busy at work as I’ve ever been.

So strange.  I think I might be in the beginnings of a mid-life crisis.  They say they often accompany the loss of a parent/parents, right (my dad passed away 7 years ago, before my first blog so some might not know he’s gone).

Life is short, man? Do I want to spend the next 25 years of mine in an office?

All I’m saying is…don’t be surprised if you find out we’ve sold our house and are touring around in an RV. 🙂