Not What You Think

I bet you think I’ve been slacking off on posting because I don’t want to admit to not training for the half-marathon.

Nope.  Still going strong.


I did my 11 mile run on Sunday.


I barely survived it.  I truly hope the race goes a lot better. I stopped like 4 times for potty breaks and my achilles/calf is bothering me.  My lack of strength training lately is coming back to bite me,  I feel like my body is rebelling.  When I did my 9 miles run a few weeks ago it went great!  I didn’t think 2 miles would make such a difference.  I think a lot of it on this run was bad fueling and when I ran (afternoon).

I’m very  concerned about the lack of porta potties on the trail (this is where the race is located) and am praying to all that is holy they will have porta potties for the race.  I may even email the race directors to ask so I can prepare myself mentally.

This Saturday I am running the Cooper River Bridge Run 10K, which means if I want to get another long run in and have enough time to taper, I’ll have to do it in the middle of the week next week.

Josh’s sister was supposed to do the race with me Saturday, but her husband just got orders (Air Force) and they have to leave before the race. :(  So…Josh decided (totally unprompted by me) to run it with me.  I am really appreciative because this is a HUGE race (40k + people) and I really didn’t want to do it by myself.

So, anyway…that’s my running update! Only 2.5 more weeks to go until the race!  Fingers crossed my body can make it.



Half Marathon Training: Weeks 5 & 6

Week 5

  • Monday: Yoga at home
  • Tuesday: 3 mile run
  • Wednesday: Rest
  • Thurs-Saturday: Out of town
  • Sunday: 6 mile run

I told myself I was going to run twice when in South Carolina for a work retreat.  But, plans got interrupted, and I made choices to do things like hunt, fish and explore Charleston (again) rather than run.  And I don’t regret it.

A friend (Shout out, Kim!) offered to let Nolan hang out with her kids for a little while so I could get my 6 miler in.  It was much appreciated and I finished my run at a 10:55 pace with a few breaks for stretching and to use the porta potty.

Week 6

  • Monday: Nothing
  • Tuesday: 3 mile run
  • Wednesday: Rest
  • Thursday: 5 mile run (at a 10:13 pace!)


  • Friday: 20 min. of yoga for runners
  • Saturday: 7 miles (at a 10:41 pace)


This was probably one of my best weeks, yet.  I have definitely learned that training in winter means being flexible.  Thursday I had a doctor’s appt and afterwards I went home and did my 5 miles before going to pick Nolan up.  it was around 45 degrees when I left and the last mile was sleet the entire way. :/  It made me finish the mile pretty darn fast, though! ;)

I purposely skipped Friday’s run because weather was supposed to be bad on Sunday so I needed to do my long run on Saturday.  Josh took Nolan out for some man time and I ran 7 miles around the neighborhood at a 10:41 pace.

As you can see in the pictures above, I finally bought another GPS watch (Forerunner 10).  However, it didn’t work they way I wanted it to.  The GPS worked fine, it was just too hard to upload and look at stats. so I’ve returned it and swapped it for a Fitbit Surge.

I haven’t gotten a chance to use the GPS function…


but when I do I’ll make sure to review it.

Half-Marathon Training: Week 4

For obvious reasons, my half-marathon training fell by the wayside for a couple of weeks.  I knew I had to get back on the wagon ASAP.  If I didn’t there would be no way to catch up and I knew my mom wouldn’t want me to quit.

  1. Monday: 3 mile run
  2. Tuesday: 45 min. yoga class
  3. Wed.: Rest day
  4. Thurs: 2 mile run
  5. Friday: slacker – nothing
  6. Saturday: Ditto Friday
  7. Sunday: 5 mile run

Thursday I didn’t read my training plan and thought I was supposed to do 2 miles, but it should have been 4.  That’s okay, though, I think it’s probably for the best while getting back to it.

Friday I pushed my run off until the evening and then it was crazy windy so it didn’t happen.  Saturday was a busy day and I didn’t get any cross training in.

Sunday I finally got my butt out the door and committed to the full 5 miles.  I haven’t run 5 miles since October, I think.  But, honestly, it was a great run.  The only hiccup was at the end where my muscles were killing me and I had a cramp in my glute.  Gotta make sure I keep up with the yoga to combat that.

So, I’m officially back on track.  I’ll be out of town Wednesday through Friday this week so I have to commit to doing those runs while I’m gone.  I’m already trying to figure out how to get 6 miles in on Sunday when Josh works 7-7.  I may just put Nolan in the stroller at naptime and hope he falls asleep.  I hate “losing” naptime, but a girl’s gotta so what a girl’s gotta do.  I really hate running on the treadmill, but that’s a option, too, while Nolan plays in the childcare center at the Y.

Wish me luck!

Little Bites

Nolan: I want candy!

Josh: Do you have any money?

Nolan: Yes! Downstairs!

Me: Downstairs? Where downstairs?

Nolan: In mommy’s bag!


I’ve put Nolan to bed already…

Nolan: Mommy! Mom! Mama!

Me: What, Nolan?

Nolan: I need to go potty!

Me: ::takes him potty, he does nothing, put him back in bed, kiss him and leave::

Nolan: Mommy! Mom! Mama!

Me: What, Nolan?

Nolan: I need noise.

Me: :: turns on noise machine::

Nolan: Not too much! (while shaking his finger at me)

Me: ::turns down noise machine, kiss him, and leave::

Nolan: Mommy! Mom! Mama!

Me: What, Nolan?

Nolan: I need lotion!

Me: ::puts lotion on his face and hands (he refused lotion before bed), kiss him and leave::

Nolan: Mommy! Mom! Mama!

Me: What, Nolan?

Nolan: Cover me up!

Me: Put his covers on him, kiss him, say I love you and head towards the door::

Nolan: I love you! Get out now!

brat ;)


My Mom

As most of you know, my mom passed away Thursday, January 15th at 9AM in Pensacola, Florida at Sacred Heart Hospital.

She had fought cancer for nearly 15 years.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000, the Spring if I call correctly. I remember her crying and saying she was sorry when she told me.  She was mad at her self for skipping her yearly mammogram.

I remember asking her if she wanted me to stay home from a college trip to France.  She, of course, wouldn’t entertain the thought. My uncle (who, himself,  died a couple years later from cancer) came down to help her through the double mastecomy and initial radiation and chemo treatments.  Thinking back on it, I was so fucking self-involved.  It’s my biggest fault.  I should have stayed.  I should have been there.  Another fault of mine is terrible long-term memory (hence the blog) so maybe I wasn’t as absent as it seems in my own head. I hope not.

After the initial surgery and treatment she was in remission for a few years, taking tamoxifen, a maintenance drug.  Unfortunately, her body built up a tolerance and the cancer came back.  I don’t remember all the details, but I remember it being on a rib, on her spine, etc.  She fought it over and over again.  Times without treatments became fewer and farther between.  The last few years there was little to no respite between treatments.  Eventually, it was the chemo that killed her, not the cancer.  In fact, just two weeks before she died she said her most recent PET scan was great and the cancer was much reduced.  But, her body just couldn’t take it anymore.  She started retaining water and we later learned it was a sign of her kidneys and liver beginning to shut down.

Two weeks ago my mom’s boyfriend texted to say he had to take her to the hospital for dehydration.  The next day he told me her kidneys were failing, but they were trying to get her kidney function back up.  If they couldn’t she’d need dialysis.  Either way, she couldn’t tolerate anymore chemo so it would just be a matter of riding out the cancer.  The next morning he said she had only days so I booked a flight the following day.  A few hours later he called back and said she had only hours and asked if I wanted to talk to her.

There’s nothing like saying goodbye to your mom in the hallway at work and trying to figure out how to convey 34 years of appreciation and love.  She was pretty well doped up on pain meds, but I could understand her a couple of times as she said “I love you.”

After that I went to my desk and rebooked my flight.  Delta rebooked it for free and I was on the plane in an hour. Josh met me at the airport with a bag.

I arrived at the airport around 6pm.  My brother was already there with his wife and my nephew.  I was shocked by my mom’s appearance.  She pretty much looked like every dying cancer patient you’ve ever seen on TV.  They tried to dial down her dose of pain meds to see if she would become coherent at all, but it never made a difference.  She was basically sleeping the whole time, which I am somewhat thankful for, I certainly didn’t want her to be in pain.  We stayed with her until around 10 and then went to a hotel.  Back in the hospital by 7:30 and she died right at 9AM.  I won’t go into details, but it was pretty peaceful.

She wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread at a mountain in Arkansas.  In the end, it made more sense to not have an immediate service.  Instead, I will be planning one for the first weekend of May right before her birthday.  We will have the service at the base of the mountain and then those who are able will climb it for the spreading of the ashes.

Having no service, yet, has been hard.  Funerals really are for the living.  Her old co-workers and he boyfriend’s co-workers had a service for her last Thursday evening at the chapel in the nursing home where she used to work.  I did the program, which helped a little.  I wish I could have been there.

(click to enlarge)

mom_friends_funeralProgram_Page_1 mom_friends_funeralProgram_Page_2Music:

Stand By Me – Playing for Change

I Hope You Dance – LeeAnn Womack

For the moment, we’re left with a ton of paperwork to distract us, a rental house in Florida that’s now my responsibility, a memorial service to plan and many a sleepless night wondering if I told her enough that I loved her.  Wondering if I made her proud (not if she was proud of me…I know she was, she always told me that), but if I was who she always wanted me to be.

It helps to know that she’s in a better, pain-free place.  As we keep telling Nolan…

“Bebe’s in heaven.  She’s an angel now.”